maudite_a_deux: (damn fangirls!)
Look away from the train wreck:
Roy sat at the captain’s bridge, watching the Bebop a few miles ahead of him. He sighed, his mind filled with thoughts of curly greenish black hair, chiseled features, and spikes. Spike. Spike. Spicky Spooky Spike-diddly-ike-dyke-dyke. He wished Maes was there to talk to him, that he never set eyes on Spike, that he never took on this stupid mission, that Spike was underneath him thrusting- -- Fullmetal Bebop

The story at also least hints at Ed/Jet, Armstrong/Faye, and Kimblee/Vicious. And then they land on Jupiter! Tragically, I had to stop reading when my housemates pounded on the door and demanded I keep the howling down, since I was otherwise unable to control my wails of mingled agony and mirth.

It was a mercy, really. Chapter 4 promises lemons.
maudite_a_deux: (Default)
Something here isn't quite kosher:
L sighed as warm water washed over him. The spray from the shower head was gentile. Annoyingly gentile. He wasn’t feeling any cleaner. He felt thick, if that was any way to describe it. Like only a high pressure stream could wash it away. He gave up and shut the water off. -- Without Sugar
maudite_a_deux: (Default)
Absolutely Pants:
I’m so bored right now, and I want to go bug someone but if I do, I’m usually sat on fire and I want to go one day without being sat on fire!!!!! Damn, I wish I could go out with being fire proofed. For example, last year in Mr. Hyle’s class my pants disappeared and when I tried to set fire on my invisible pants I was sent to the councilors office to witness a play about self injury. -- Once Upon A Summer


I shamelessly stole this one from [livejournal.com profile] babb_chronicles, because it was just too good to pass up.
maudite_a_deux: (damn fangirls!)
Step away from the thesaurus and keep your hands where I can see them:
Nocturnal luminescence traversed the sections of crimson, sapphire, jade, and golden brilliance of the lofty stained glass window, dispersing through the silent cathedral faintly. Moonlight illuminated contoured portions of floor space beneath respective windowpanes, otherwise fading into shadows of silence. Trace amounts of radiance lightened the statue, Ave Maria, as a somber hand extended to caress its lineaments. “Asato Tsuzuki…” a magnanimous voice pierced the solitude. -- Hymn to the Darkness

In unrelated hilarity, Best Typo EVAR: "Decedents of Darkness".
maudite_a_deux: (Default)
Bulwer-Lytton Spins In Grave, Film at 11:
The rain poured down loudly and relentlessly occasionally joined by a clap of thunder and a flash of lightening, while the wind blew lazily and the rain followed its every whim. The sky was dark and was covered with thick white rain clouds that illuminated the dark, rainy, night with something akin to light. It was a frightfully saturnine night and Hermione seemed to be feeling the effects of it all or it could have been the scene that she had just been privy to see. -- Truth Is
maudite_a_deux: (Default)
Most Excruciatingly British Buttsex:
“Arrrgh!” I heard myself cry out as he sheathed himself completely within me. “Oh bullocks, I cannot believe this...There is a penis in my bottom!” -- Wicked Wizardry
This story is also notable for its inventive use of circular breathing to allow the pair to kiss without ever having to stop for breath.
maudite_a_deux: (Default)
"Noticing motion Draco turned to see a long line of black robed and hooded figures. At first he mistook them for dementors. No, the figures were Death Easters marching to the center of the meadow. The silent figures climbed up stone steps onto an immense and wheel-like platform large enough for the twelve hooded ones to stand along its perimeter, spaced and facing the center of the stone stage."

...then they began passing out black-dyed eggs to all the excited little Death Easter children.
maudite_a_deux: (Default)
"Draco couldn't help laughing. A silent sad laugh. A laugh he had laughed every year after reading the epitaph. What an epitaph!"

Author name and story title withheld to protect the guilty.

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