Original fic fragment

I rarely share my original fiction with others. I'm not really much of a fiction writer, and most of what I write is purely for my own enjoyment. Every once in a while, though, I work up the nerve to share a bit. I really like this particular scene for some reason, so I thought I'd throw it out there. Concrit greatly appreciated; I know what a lot of my bad habits are, but an outside opinion is always helpful.

Classic hurt/comfort scenario. Warnings for buckets of angst and poorly-written hetsex. ( Read at your own risk: )