Crazy shit I think

I have these opinions, see. They're irrelevant to anyone else, but sometimes I just have to spew them anyway. I'll probably manage to offend at least one person on my friendslist with this, but I'm tired and cranky and feel like venting, so.

• Near is asexual. I absolutely cannot picture Near in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship. It's not even because he's obviously autistic, because I know a couple of autistic people who are in relationships. He's just 100% obsessed with two things: solving cases and playing with toys. He hasn't got the interest or time for anything else. He's also not emotionally adult enough for a relationship. Which is not to say that Mello or Matt are emotional adults either, but they're a hell of a lot closer than Near is.
  
  
• Akabane doesn't deserve a happy ending. I realize he's a fascinating character, but honestly, people, he's a psychopathic killer who shoots scalpels out of his body. He's not capable of a caring relationship; by definition, psychopaths (and yes, he really, really is one, really, I don't care how hot you think he is) are not capable of caring about anyone but themselves. If Akabane got emotionally or sexually involved with someone, it would be a purely egotistical and/or manipulative thing on his part. Every time I see a story where he has a cute kitty and he snuggles with Ginji, it makes me grind my teeth.
  
  
• K/Sakano: just say no. In fact, anybody/Sakano is just plain a bad idea. Sakano is a comic relief character. He has no actual substance. You'd have to write a hell of a convincing backstory to make him anything but annoying, and there's nothing about him that interests me enough that I'd want to read such a backstory if it were written. I love obscure side characters and odd pairings as much as the next girl, possibly more, but I just don't see the value in Sakano.
  
  
• Aya is not a weepy uke. And I'm infinitely sick of seeing him portrayed as some kind of idiotic sexbot who'll do anything with anybody Just To Kill The Pain. Aya is proud and prickly and self-contained. If he were to have casual sex (which I think is unlikely), it would most definitely involve him very consciously using his partners; regardless of whether he was top or bottom, he'd be very much the dominant partner. And I can think of no circumstances that would get him into bed with any member of Schwarz. No, not even as part of a mission. Aya would never accept such a mission in the first place. His sister is the only thing in the world that ranks higher than his personal dignity, and that's a very near thing. I don't think he'd whore himself out even for Aya-chan. Unless your U is very, very A.
  
  
• Al/Hawkeye: don't make me laugh. I don't know what else to say about this one, really -- I just find it utterly insupportable.
  

Once again, these opinions are endorsed by nobody but me, and nobody actually listens to me anyway. I just felt like spewing. But now it's past my bedtime. Anon.